Daiaurufu-Garu I think it'd be better to move this to its own thread or at least delete the start pool if you're gonna use it as a faction page.
Now that that's out of the way, as an RP elitist older RP'er over here, imma give my own two cents on the faction itself.
First of all. WHERE ARE THE B'S? AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
System ammounts is perfectly fine.
It's better to do a backstory sectioned in easily digestible chapters. A huge paragraph/textwall like that becomes an eye-sore and unpleasent to read quickly.
For now, the faction page is quite dry, what I recommend doing is the following:
- Create separate thread for ships;
- Move faction page to its own dedicated thread;
- Fix the backstory paragraph by sectioning it better;
- Add other sections to the faction, like: Tech, Government type, Species, etc;
- Add images and other kinds of tools to make the page easier to read.