Emperor I read through your main post and have found nothing wrong with it. It seems to be relatively balanced and interesting to read as well. As you RP more, some of the rougher edges that Darknessry pointed out will become much more fine-tuned. I think, since you are pretty new, you are doing great, especially after some of the modifications that the others pointed out.
I wish you luck, and if I ever RP again, I wouldn't hesitate RPing with you.
