Hello Customer, are you tired of being oppressed by your rich overlords and their fabulous hats, does your budget consist of two piles of sand and a camel, do you live in a tent on some random desert planet, are you really bored and want to fly a spaceship, well do i have the ship for you. Built by the best pirates that we found in their professional workshops comes the "One Way Cruise". All you need is a friend, available on the "friend" market, and the knowledge of pressing a total of six buttons. All you have to do is press the go button and fly at your enemies. When you finally reach your destination press the big red shiny button to win a promotion. Do not be scared of being shot our secret camouflage will make sure they will not find you and if they do the red blinking armour will make sure that no shot goes through.
Buy Now for just 3,99 ₽
"One Way Cruise"
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Disclaimer:
The pirates who build this are mentally handicapped people we found in garbage cans.
The "friend" market is and slave market.
We are not responsible for any deaths caused by the big red shiny button.
The big red shiny button is the self-destruct button.
The "camouflage" is just the two piles of sand you own.
The "armour" wont let anything through because it explodes causing the projectile to fly away.
The "Promotion" is us writing your name on the casualty list.
We will use you as an exploding battering ram to break through enemy lines.