Well you've avoided most of the common new player problems, but I took a quick crack at this one before work anyway.
First off, I didn't do much that would change the way it looks. That was partly to save time but also because I build almost purely for function, not form, and I realize that's not how most do things.
What I did do was compartmentalize, move a few parts and a lot of doors, delete some extra crew and power, and give you another engine.
The compartments are to an extent a matter of taste, but I find they really help focus your crew on doing stuff other than walking across the entire ship. The extra engine will help you maneuver some if one side of the ship loses most of its thrusters. The other stuff I did will improve the sustained rate of fire on all your weapons.
Some weakness I didn't get to just yet: inadequate PD and no electros. You don't need electros, but they're pretty handy at times.
